Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
