She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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