We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
