C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
