I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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