Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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