I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
