Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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