he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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