when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
