Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
