Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Someone shit on the floor
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
