a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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