Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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