I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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