P.S. I can't hear my feet
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
