Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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