I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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