I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
