i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
