how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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