nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
