coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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