C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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