She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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