Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize