Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize