I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
