i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
