I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
