been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
