So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The ass gains better be worth it
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