do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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