I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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