just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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