I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
