What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You don't make any sense
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