you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
