your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
