i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
