these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
