Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
