Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
my poor anus
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
