party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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