i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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