I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
