evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had sex on a roof
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