Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
