Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
