It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
