I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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