It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
