a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
