just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
