you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
