I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
