Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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