is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
