The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Randomize
