kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize