Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm bleeding and have questions
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
