I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
