But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize