that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
