They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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