Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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