it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He? As in you personified your dick?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
