So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
