doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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