The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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