I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize