If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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