I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
