My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize